Thursday, January 20, 2011
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
I’m stuck in a rut and don’t know what to do about it. I’ve tried a lot of different stuff to get out of it but the problem is I think it’s just me. I’m stuck doing the same things over and over and over again, to the point that my mind just goes numb. It’s like I’m beating my head against a wall expecting that one day I’ll break through and make it to the other side. And I’m hoping that on the other side of said wall will be some glorious garden where everything will be perfect and I’ll have very little problems or worries. The problem is that I know that on the other side of this wall is just another wasteland, one full of regret and disappointments that will only beat me down further. But at least I will be making progress right? At least I’m in front of a new wall facing new challenges and working hard to make it through these new trials.
I was told by my Bishop the other day that I shouldn’t worry about work or school or money or girls or anything like that. He quoted the hymn “Lead Kindly Light”. In the last 2 stanzas of the song it says “Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene; one step enough for me.” He then quoted a scripture from 3rd Nephi 13: 31-34 “31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?32For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.33But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.34Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof.” I’ve been trying really hard to live by these words but it’s hard to not think of what am I gonna do or where is the next meal coming from.
I don’t know how those people do it. I look up to them immensely. Maybe one day I’ll have the faith to follow in their footsteps and follow this the way it was meant to be followed for now all I can do is try.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
I wish to be one of the latter. Always moving never slowing even if death has my name and number. I will never surrender. This life has been too hard and I've given up too much of myself to just lay down. I hope to say at the end "I lived and loved with all the passion that any man can muster. I will never leave without that same passion."
That being said as of now my passion is being put into school. As boring as school can be at times I'm enjoying it. Although at times I am not nearly as productive as I could be I am pushing forward hoping to one day achieve my goal. Summer school was a choice I was sure I would regret but I am really enjoying the atmosphere and the speed at which the classes are moving. It is an adventure I hope continues onward and upward with many desirable results.
There's not a lot of time or energy to put into other things but I've made a few leaps into the unknown and I'm hoping that they are for the better. I signed up for a triathlon that will take place on the 31st of this month. I said I would do it as a hasty decision but I'm really enjoying the training and can't wait to be able to compete. I've always wanted to do this type of thing and now I'm finally realizing that goal. It's taken quite a bit to get myself out and training (especially the running part. I HATE running) but it's been worth every second I've put into it.
Part of the training is biking so I went out and sought a new bike for the event. I did lots of research and found a few road bikes I was definitely interested in looking at and testing out. So yesterday I set out. I looked at probably a dozen different bikes and models finally settling on a Felt z100. $900 later I was out the door on the most comfortable rides I've ever had. I think it's without saying I spent way too much on the bike but so far I love it and will put many hundreds of miles on it.
Other than that life is ok. The drama of looking for that certain someone is always there and sometimes complicated. I've had my heart broken one too many times it feels but I will bounce back and I will continue the search. I hope that all of the women I've had the pleasure of spending time with are happy, I really do. Each and every one of them have been extremely good to me and those around them and deserve to be happy. So I continue forward and wait for my turn in the spotlight and the chance to make all the dreams I've had come true.
Well I've wasted enough time talking about my life. As always hit hard, drive forward and always keep your feet moving